For you grammar cops and Librarians out there, nothing is more irritating than taking a good English word and misusing it. So for the benefit of humanity and my continuing effort to teach you shit, I give you some words that are misused and the real definitions for each.
1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds.
2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.
4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.
5. CONTROL: A short, ugly prison inmate.
6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who install kitchen counters.
7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.
8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.
10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.
11. MISTY: How golfers create divots.
12. PARADOX: Two physicians!
13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.
15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with.
16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV!
17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring.
18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.
19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official!
2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.
4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.
5. CONTROL: A short, ugly prison inmate.
6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who install kitchen counters.
7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.
8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.
10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.
11. MISTY: How golfers create divots.
12. PARADOX: Two physicians!
13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.
15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with.
16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV!
17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring.
18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.
19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official!
21. Polygon: A lost parrot.
22. Burglarize: What a robber sees with.
Now go out into the world and use these words as God intended.
From Coffeypot: http://johnjudyc.blogspot.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment